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JessicaThe sun shining brightly outside my window rouses me from my dreams. I stretch, my arms above my head, and try to fight the nausea that settles in the pit of my stomach. Another day, another 24 hours pretending to be something I'm not. The pain in my chest was tightly constricting, and was almost enough to make me never want to open my eyes again.
None the less, I dragged myself out of bed, standing up and stretching once more, forcing my eyes to open despite their protests at opening. I glanced down at my body with a sort of wistful hopefulness, and stiffled a groan; nothing had magically changed overnight. I didn't really expect anything different.
"Kylie?" I heard my mother call me from downstairs. I flinched slightly at the use of my birth name but forced a smile into my tone and called back down,
"Yeah, I'm up! Be down in just a second!" I reached into my dresser and pulled out my favorite pair of Wrangler jeans, slipping them on quickly over my boxers.
"Come into the kitchen, dea
Dealing With Demons“What can be more exciting than working with spuds?” my father asked me after graduation. I had just finished telling him I wanted to go to college. It was obvious he was perplexed, and obvious why. He never went to college, his father never went to college, and his grandfather never went to college. Most of the family had never even finished high school. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew for a fact I did not want to be a potato farmer. Mrs. Margaret, our school guidance counselor who was also our only English teacher, had me believing that there might be a better option. No, not better. Just different. And I desperately wanted different. Something beyond plowing the field, and harvesting potatoes for the rest of my life.
I always loved to write, so when my first English assignment was to interview a local person we considered a hero in our lives, I was beyond excided. But the only problem was I had no one to interview. I thought about intervi
Turn Back TimeThe last person I expected to see here was Luke. Don’t get me wrong; this wouldn’t change anything. This was still my job, and I was going to do it, with or without some snotty wanna-be rock star sitting at my bar. I was just going to march my way up there, relieve Lacey from duty, and take over mixing drinks until three a.m., like I always did on Tuesday night. Taking a controlled breath to calm my raging nerves, I walked up to the bar, refusing to look at the man with pitch black hair who’s eyes snapped to my figure as I turned the corner.
“Hey, you!” Lacey said, kissing my cheek in greeting, as she does every night. “I was beginning to worry you weren’t going to make it in. Traffic bad?” she asked. I shook my head.
“Car broke down.” I explained softly, careful not to let Luke overhear. Lacey’s eyes widened.
“You walked here?!” she exclaimed. I flinched and tried not to smile at her shocked, slightly mother
Addiction Chapter 1-AmandaAmanda
I would die for a cigarette, Amanda thought to herself, sitting in her senior English class, drumming her fingers nervously on her desk. She had managed to sneak three at lunch, and another two in between 5th and 6th period, but the urge to light up again burned strong in her veins. She shifted in her seat, uncrossed and then crossed again her legs, and glanced up at the clock on the wall. It had only been three minutes. She sighed aloud, and started to chew on her thumbnail, ignoring the teacher as he droned on about some book that the class was supposed to be reading. The Scarlet…something, she couldn’t remember right then. All she knew was she needed a cigarette, and badly.
You didn’t used to be such a cig whore, she mentally chastised herself as she glanced again at the clock that seemed to never move; only one minute had passed. She fought the urge to groan. It was true, it didn’t used to be this bad, but she knew she didn’t have a problem. Pe
Only YouNo one's ever made me feel as loved,
No one's ever made me feel as safe,
No one's ever made me feel worth it,
And then there's you.
You make me feel like the world,
Can't go on without me in it.
You make me feel like the universe,
Won't be right without my life.
You make me feel like the world is not worth seeing,
Without me by your side.
Can make me feel alive.
Nothing's ever mattered to me,
Until I met you that day.
And no one has ever meant so much,
As you have since that day.
And no one will ever understand me,
Quite like you do.
There's only you.
You make me feel like your life,
Is better because of me.
You make me feel like everything,
Will be alright if you're with me.
You make me feel like nothing else has meaning,
If you and I can't be.
Can make me feel this way.
Sometimes, we will scream and yell.
Sometimes, I'll put you through hell.
And sometimes, you'll drag me down after you,
Otherworldly LoveNo one before her noticed me,
And no one mattered since.
Whenever I needed her,
She was there in a pinch.
Her name mattered little,
And so she never gave it.
I ended up giving her one of my own,
And she poudly loved to say it.
She told me she was not from here,
And had to make it back.
But back to where, I never knew,
Assistance I did lack.
I did not wish to return her,
To that place beyond the stars,
The place she swore she came from;
I'd rather keep her in my arms.
I tried to dazzle and charm her,
Tried to keep her in with me.
But I knew deep down in my heart,
It wasn't meant to be.
Strange things began to happen,
To my lady love and me.
But despite her warnings to steer clear,
I wouldn't let her be.
I followed her one day,
To a clearing by the lake,
I sat with her in silence,
While she cried, more than I could take.
She told me where she came from,
Told me about her home.
Told me how much she wanted to return,
And I begged her not to go alone.
We ran together through the dark,
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
the certainty of imminencei.
tomorrow spills over
inevitability-rapt and enveloping,
as wakefulness startles,
i'm caught up in past-time
i forge(t) myself in oblivion
midnight so hollow,
we all stop
with the clocks.
nothing looks the way it did
and i guess it seems
i'm blinkered, brevity-bound
in century footsteps forever stumbling,
always being blindsided
by the passing
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
A broken heartI promised myself I'll never fall in love
Whenever I fall in love I feel renewed and happy
But like a drug
Once everything finishes
I'm crying, depressed and the wreckage of my heart
I always end up feeling worse
I want to find someone that is special
But I'm afraid to suffer again
I'm afraid of losing another person
Do not want to suffer
Do not make me suffer, do not lie to me
Do not hurt me, no more
I will not hold on to people who only sink me
I'll be free and live with have left
A cold and lonely spirit.
Pieces of MemoriesWhat is it that causes,
A heart to break?
What is it that makes,
Risk free to take?
Do I miss you,
Or am I forelorn?
I'm not dissatisfied;
Why am I torn?
Your name rolls in my head,
Although I've long since moved on.
So what do I feel,
I'm missing out on?
My life is perfect,
Without you in it.
Let go of my heart;
You'll never win it.
My heart beats for someone,
True to the end.
Do I miss you as just a friend?
I know that you,
Truly hate me.
Is that you your memory,
Won't let me be?
I've got nothing to say,
And I know neither do you.
So I guess I'll go on and wonder,
If from time to time,
For no reason or rhyme,
Are you unable to help,
Thinking of me too?
Keep in Touch!